Revit MEP now offers a solution for this, but it still takes some compromise between the two teams (this is usually where the break down occurs, but maybe technology can help bridge the gap)...
Revit MEP 2011 now offers the ability to "Copy Monitor" MEP fixture elements between referenced models!! MEP Fixture Elements include:
- Lighting Fixtures
- Plumbing Fixtures
- Air Terminals (HVAC Grilles)
- Mechanical Equipment (useful between Electrical and Mechanical model)